A Secret Shared
by Thalisirwen
Summary: SEQUEL to A Secret Untold- rated R for later chapters PLEASE R/R! COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: A Secret Shared - Sequel to A Secret Untold  
AUTHOR: Thalisirwen  
RATING: R (for later chapters)  
PAIRING: Aragorn/Legolas  
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
NOTES: Legolas's POV * *=emphasis  
  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter One  
  
Aragorn leaned close. I could feel his warm breath against my skin. "I...I have been despising myself for a long time, because of feelings I could not withhold; feelings that would not be accepted," he spoke quietly and urgently, a serious tone to his voice. "But the last few days have made me see, I cannot live my life this way, deceiving myself and those I hold dear. Legolas, I...I love you," he whispered, turning away, his head bowed as if in shame.   
My thudding heart leapt into my throat as I heard the three words I had longed to hear uttered from his mouth, that never in my wildest dreams had I imagined he would say.  
And yet, to hear his say them as if it were some terrible crime, that was truly devastating.  
"Aragorn," I spoke softly to him, putting a hand out to his arm.  
"I understand...I shall leave Rivendell tomorrow," he said miserably.  
"No, Aragorn!" I pulled on his arm to make him turn, staring up into his eyes. "I too have something I haven't been truthful about, something I must share before it kills me...I feel the same way...about you." It was difficult to say those words, after so long denying them, so long not admitting that I wanted him as, indeed, much more than a friend.   
"You...you mean that, don't you?"  
"Yes."  
He took my hand in his and squeezed it. "I thought I'd lost you," he closed his eyes as he spoke softly, as if remembering some terrible thing.  
"What has been happening?" I asked.  
"There is much to tell, since the orcs attacked you," he replied. "The blade that hit you was poisoned, I rushed you here as fast as I could, and Elrond and the healers spent practically all night tending to the wound. But the poison had gone deeper into you than we thought," he motioned to the now-fading marks on my chest. "Elrond believed you'd fallen victim to a poison phantom.  
Sangwafaire, as they are known, prey on the souls of their victims, they cause a lot of pain to them, mind, body and soul, as they try to suck out the life force from the soul. I am not sure where you - where we - were exactly, it could have been your mind, yet it could have been some other realm. The only way to defeat Sangwafaire, is through the power of the mind. Imagination can create anything where we were. I imagined a sword, the weight and feel of it, the look of it even, and used intuition and sense to kill the creature."  
"What happened after that?" I asked. I could not remember anything between passing out in the cave to coming round to see Aragorn kneeling beside me. "I went to you. You were lying on the floor of the cave. Rolling you over, I saw a mist begin to rise from your body. It was your soul, Legolas. You almost died."  
I lay staring at him with my eyes wide in shock. "I almost...but how am I   
here?"  
"Ritual. It was something I did not know of, I knew of Sangwafaire but no ritual, herb or weapon that would defeat them. Elrond told me of this ritual...but at the end, I don't know what happened. I just *knew* what to do."  
"You used your intuition," a voice disrupted our conversation. Elrond stood in the doorway. "Pray continue, Aragorn, I wish to hear everything," he sat down.  
Aragorn carefully moved his hand away from mine before the older elf noticed, and went to sit on another chair.  
"Then you came round, and we went out of the cave, and along the tunnel; I am sure you remember that." I nodded.  
Aragorn continued for Elrond's sake, for I knew the rest. "Once outside, I followed your instructions, Elrond. I must admit I was unsure if it would work, but when I opened my eyes, we were here."  
Elrond approached and lay a hand on my forehead. "Well you are on the mend. You should be up and walking within a few days," he smiled down at me kindly. "Now, it is time for your wound to be redressed. Aragorn, I trust you can handle that, I have other things to attend to," with that he left the room, giving me an odd smile before closing the door softly behind him.  
Aragorn reached for the fresh dressing and the ointment that lay beside the bed. Carefully he unwrapped the bandage from around my arm. I gritted my teeth as I felt pain around the cut. The pain died away as the ointment was applied. Gently he wrapped a new bandage around the wound.  
"Thank you," I smiled at him.  
Smiling back, he replied, "I would do that for anyone..." he trailed off as he looked at me. "You know, you look even more beautiful when you smile."  
I could feel my cheeks redden at the compliment, and changed the subject. I was unused to hearing such words.   
"You look like you need some sleep," I noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes. He was thinner than I remembered him. "And something to eat," I added.  
"I will send for some food," Aragorn replied, getting up.  
"Go and eat with the others, then go to your room and get some rest; please Aragorn," I said as gently as I could. "I need to sleep now anyway. Maybe you could bring me something later?" I persuaded  
He nodded. Stepping towards me, he bent down, and kissed me gently on the forehead.  
"Until later, fair one," he smiled and stepped out into the sunlight now flooding into the hall outside. My heart felt so much lighter, and I sank back into the soft pillows, still feeling the warmth of his lips on my head as I drifted into a painless sleep.  
Yet at the back of my mind, I wondered what the others would think of this. Especially my father.  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Aragorn's POV. Short chapter, but others will be longer.  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 2  
  
Leaving his room, I could barely believe what Legolas had told me. Nor what I had admitted to him. I almost kicked myself when I saw the shock on his face, thinking that I had done irreparable damage to our friendship. Even now, I cannot believe that I actually told him; it all happened as if it was just another dream - at any moment I'm expecting to wake up.  
But instead of being repulsed, he reached out to me, and spoke with such sweetness only he can. His words were so simple, yet to my ears they were the most beautiful words ever spoken. With so few words, Legolas had healed pains my heart has endured for many years.  
I felt more alive than I ever had, an unseen burden was lifted from my shoulders. The sunlight streamed into the hallways, and for once I was glad of it. I stood for a moment in a ray of light, revelling in the warmth upon my face and hands, feeling it sink into my aching bones.  
As I continued along the hallway, I met the healer Liadriel, who I recalled had been one of the first to help Legolas. I smiled at her and thanked her for tending 'to my greatest friend.'   
But no one can be told yet, about these feelings that the elf prince and I harbour for each other. In some ways, I feel as if it doesn't matter. If I have him, nothing matters. Gondor can remain as it is, I would happily continue life away from all this, find a place and build a new home, where Legolas and I could live in peace, should people not accept the feelings we have for each other. Yet there is still that sense of foreboding, telling me that it is not time to tell.   
It would hurt too many people, to reveal the forbidden feelings Legolas and I wield for each other; Arwen tells me she does not mind, yet in my heart of hearts I feel this is a lie. I will be eternally grateful to her, for the favour she has done, the sacrifice she has made for me. I dread telling Lord Elrond about this turn of events.   
  
I pondered more about telling people of this during lunch, although I was finding thinking to be difficult, as I felt inclined to join in the cheerful conversations at the table. It felt good to have food in my stomach, it wasn't until I sat down that I realised how hungry I was, nor that I hadn't eaten a proper meal in a while.   
Elrond had already ordered for a bowl of nourishing soup to be sent to Legolas's room, along with bread and another jug of water. Insisting that I should be the one to take it to him, I received a few strange looks, and hurriedly made the excuse that as one of my dearest friends, I should be the one to take the food to him. Arwen gave me a knowing smile, and Elrond stared hard at me for a moment, before giving a nod of approval, a strange expression upon his face. Taking the tray of food, I left the room and made my way to Legolas's room.   
  
He was sleeping when I got there, so I quietly set the tray on the table and moved it close to the bed, so that he could reach it when he woke up. He looked so peaceful, his golden hair spread over the pillows, his unseeing eyes shining brightly, and a smile playing across his lips.  
I stood and gazed at him for a while, then not wishing to wake him, I crept out of the room and went to take a bath.   
Leaning back in the warm water, I closed my eyes, inhaling the steam. The water seemed to wash the last of my troubles away, and for a while I thought of nothing but the happiness that was in my heart, happiness unlike any that I had felt before.  
For I loved Legolas, and he loved me.   
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Legolas's POV  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 3  
  
Thankfully, my recovery was quick, due to the knowledge of Lord Elrond and the healers of Rivendell. Whilst I was confined to bed, Aragorn visited me frequently, and we talked of a million things. He seemed happier than he had been for a long while, and our conversations were light-hearted. Then one day, the last day I was to stay in my bed, we talked about more serious matters.  
"What are we to tell them?"  
"I do not know, and this troubles me."  
Aragorn stared at the floor for a moment, as if trying to pick the right words. "Arwen knows. She keeps secrets well, but I am unsure that others will not realise...I feel we must be careful that nobody sees us together."  
I nodded, understanding what he was trying to say, but at the same time feeling a little hurt that I still had to hide my true feelings for most of the time. "So, how did Arwen find out?"  
Aragorn sighed. "It was due to her that I ever told you about how I feel. One night whilst we were walking, she stopped and she told me she knew. She sent me to find you, and tell you. I am glad she did, for if she had not, you might be dead by now; it was that day you were attacked by the orcs. My only sorrow is that she has made a sacrifice for me, yet I can never repay her for what she has done."  
"Our life together would have been meaningless if you were not happy, Estel," a soft feminine voice in the room made us turn to see Arwen standing at the door. She closed the door behind her and sat on the edge of the bed. "I will always love you, but that is what helped me make the decision. I would not have been true to you or myself if I had not made you go to Legolas." She turned to me and said, "Take care of him my friend, for he is a gem in the race of man." Smiling, she took his hand and placed it in mine.  
"How did you know, Arwen?" I had to ask.  
"I could see it in his eyes. When he looked at you, I saw the longing in them, yet when he looked at me, I saw guilt and remorse."  
"I still love you, Arwen...yet I regret that it is only as a friend."  
She turned back to him "I know. But you should not regret. All that happens in life happens for a reason. We were meant for each other only for a short time, until we found our true place. You have found where you are meant to be, and I feel that I too, will find my true place in due time."  
Aragorn bowed his head, and she stood up, placing a kiss on his forehead. Leaning over me, she kissed my forehead as well, then straightened up, a brave smile on her lips. "May the sun and stars shine upon your love," she said. I could see crystal tears forming in her eyes. She turned to leave.  
"May they shine also upon you, and may you be blessed for your selflessness," I replied, wanting to stand up and embrace her for the great act of kindness she had done for me. She smiled back at me again, then left the room as silently as she had entered.  
  
The next day was the day I had been waiting for - Lord Elrond was finally letting me get out of bed; although I was given strict instructions not to do anything 'over-strenuous' and to rest if I felt the smallest bit tired. So I spent the day walking around Rivendell, and though I should have felt joyous that I could taste the fresh, clean air once more; my mind was overshadowed with the worry that someone might see Aragorn and I and somehow work out our secret. As a result we did not see each other much that day, besides at mealtimes; this I detested so: I wished that I could just shout it out loud from the rooftops, that Aragorn was mine, and mine only, and we loved each other. But it was not the time. We had made the decision not to see each other more often, for people may begin to suspect something. And this was hurting almost as much as seeing him, and not having him as my own.   
Evening came, and with it more guests in the house of Elrond. I was yet to meet them, yet heard talk of them as I made my way back to the house for supper. The newcomer was introduced at supper; he was known as Boromir, and he was the son of the steward of Gondor. It was good to be amongst the cheerful chatter at the supper table again, yet I felt a little unnerved about the way the newcomer kept looking at me - it was as if his eyes penetrated my skin and looked right into my soul, and even when I looked back at him he did not stop looking, but he merely smiled crookedly, knowingly. I shuddered, and tried to ignore the feeling of him watching me, also trying not to stare too hard at Aragorn; when we talked, I concentrated on my meal, only glancing up at his handsome face every so often in a desperate attempt to make it look as if everything was normal, though still feeling the electric tingle running through my body whenever our eyes met. I believe that it worked, as I did not notice any strange looks from anyone besides the odd, penetrating stare of Boromir.  
  
TBC 


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: Not Mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Aragorn's POV  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 4  
  
"But why can we not tell even Lord Elrond?" Legolas whispered angrily.  
We were standing in his room, trying not to talk loudly lest someone hear us.  
"Lord Elrond would be the worst person to tell, love," I replied "Do remember I am meant to be - was meant to be - engaged to marry his daughter. I cannot go to him and tell him my heart belongs to another elf - let alone you."   
The prince fell silent and I knew my words had hurt him. "I do not understand why we cannot tell...it is expected of us to have many partners before we find our true match..." he looked up at me from his chair, eyes glistening with tears. "Why is it so wrong to admit when I have finally found the one?"  
"I'm sorry, Legolas," I whispered "I do not know how we can tell anybody, I don't know how they would react, or what they would think of us..." I trailed off, seeing that he had stopped listening.   
Sighing, he stood up "I guess we must just see what happens," he said quietly, leaving me alone in the room.  
  
I stood there, thinking. How were we to tell everyone? Did we have to tell them? Could we not just wait for them to work it out by themselves? All these questions that needed answering, yet neither Legolas nor myself could find the answer. Maybe he was right. Maybe we *should* tell someone. Maybe Lord Elrond will not mind that his daughter no longer has a future husband. Perhaps he will even be glad, and hope that she find a fellow elf, rather than a human. Maybe I should have stayed with Arwen.   
"No!" I told myself as the last thought came to me. I could not have deceived Arwen. Or Legolas. Or anyone. Yet whether I am with Legolas, with Arwen, or alone, I am deceiving someone. From one problem to another; when will these problems end? I needed company, and to talk. But the only people I could talk to were Arwen and Legolas. My elven prince was angry and hurt, talking to him would only cause him more upset. Arwen may understand. She always does.   
And with that I made my way outside to find her.  
  
She was in that gardens, on a bench under her favourite tree - the tree her father planted on the day of her birth, which had grown up with her almost like a twin. She smiled when she saw me approach, that lovely smile that lit up the day for everyone. Seeing my face, the smile faded, and she moved along the bench to give me space, motioning for me to sit down.  
"What troubles you, Aragorn?" she asked gently.  
I explained "I know not what to do. Legolas believes we should tell your father of our love. Yet I disagree, I am afraid he will anger when he discovers that we are no longer to marry. I am afraid he will be disgusted with the love I hold for Legolas...I am afraid that we will no longer be welcome here, and have to live as outcasts, away from everything - and everyone - we hold dear."  
She listened as I poured out more and more of my troubles, which seemed to come like a torrent from my mouth as soon as I began to talk.  
"All will be well," she told me when I had finished "There are old words of wisdom that my father told me I should live by. These words were: 'Follow your heart and you cannot go wrong.' And I believe, I believe that as long as we live this way, everything will be all right." She smiled reassuringly. She had tried to help me, yet nothing could help the doubt that was building inside.  
"What does your heart say you should do?" she asked softly   
I thought about this. "I do not know. I would guess it is telling me to be proud of my love for Legolas, yet now is not the time to tell of it to anyone."  
Arwen nodded. "Then that is what you must do," she said simply. I embraced her, whispering my thanks, before leaving her to her thoughts.  
  
Walking through the gardens, I thought hard about her advice. She had not been wrong before, so why would she be wrong now? Arwen was very wise, and I knew I should trust in what she said, but still I was unsure. I was so wrapped in my own thoughts I almost walked into someone.  
"Watch where you're going!" a coarse voice said as we brushed shoulders. Looking back, I saw Boromir, who was also looking back and giving me a small frown before smiling in a way a wolf may smile at its prey; then he turned and went on his way. I did not trust that man. he may be from Gondor, but that speaks little for his personality. When I had first met him he appeared brash and uncouth, though I heard he was meant to be a good warrior and much sought after by women. I knew little more about him, for we had only spoken a little during dinner the day he arrived. But I was doubtful that I could trust him.   
Boromir was the least of my troubles. "He may be the perfect gentleman," I reasoned with myself, reminding myself that on that day he had just completed a long and tiring journey, therefore may not have been his best. But what am I doing, making excuses for him? I tried to think of other things, but kept going back to my problems with Legolas, which I did not wish to think about either. "Follow your heart," Arwen had told me. This, I decided, seemed good advice, and I resolved to try hard to do so.  
  
TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: Not Mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Legolas's POV  
  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 5  
  
Aragorn thinks he understands. But how can he, not knowing what it is to have such a prolonged life, know what it is to experience centuries of joy, pain, love and anger. One day, he will be gone. And again, I shall be alone. He doesn't know about my previous relations with humans. Maybe I should tell him about the human woman, found wandering the woods centuries ago, who I knew for many years, until she was captured by the spiders. Maybe I should tell him about the boy, who joined our trek for a short while on the road to Rivendell, the boy I fell in love with the day we met, who was slain by orcs before I had a chance to tell him so. Or the handsome old man I met on my travels, only for him to die from age months later. All these past loves, all destroyed by the things I despise, all who I outlived.   
Immortality is a curse, the only ones who understand this are other immortals.  
  
I walked through the trees mulling over this. Humans seem to think that we elves, living much longer lives than them, are wise and experienced in all matters. If only that were so. What I would give to understand love fully, to understand the workings of the heart and mind. But maybe this is something we are not to understand. I would like to know why happiness cannot be found in the form of a pretty elf maiden, why it has to be found in the arms of a mortal man, when we outlive them so easily.  
  
"How dreadful it must be to be an immortal." A voice interrupted my thoughts with words I never expected to hear from anyone. I span around to the arrogant sounding voice, to see the Gondorian, Boromir- the last person I would expect to say such things - appear out of the trees, a sly look on his face. I felt a pang of annoyance. How would he know about immortality? How lucky is he, to be purely mortal, to be able to live and die and age. "What would you know about immortality, *mortal*?" I spat  
"Oh I know," he replied, stepping towards me. "I know about immortality, *elf*," he came close, out faces inches apart. "So many love's lost..." he said in a tragic tone as he traced a rough finger along my jaw. I stood still, unsure what to do - or what the man wanted. "How many more will you lose?" his voice became a whisper as he leaned in closer and kissed me briefly but hard and roughly on the lips before disappearing into the trees. My heart thudded in my chest and I stood there for minutes trying to gather my thoughts and regain from the shock of this brief encounter. How could I have let that just happen? *Had* it happened, or was it just my imagination?   
Boromir is rough and callous, but his charisma overshadows these negative traits. He is dangerous, not in a physical, violent way, but more in the way that during that brief encounter, my mind was only of him, I wanted to touch him, to hold him...and I had not a single thought of Aragorn. But this was wrong! I did not like Boromir at all, I almost despised the man! If I was not a guest in Lord Elrond's home I would not even try to be civil to him. Yet how I wanted him! As he stood so close, half of me was wishing for him to leave me be, the other half was begging for him to move closer. But he is slimy and calculating, he twists things to suit himself, how could I possibly feel those things? It was a moment of pure insanity, and it was his fault. He knows exactly what he wants and how he is going to get it, and doesn't care about who he has to go through to get it. I hate him.  
  
Thankfully I did not see Boromir for the rest of the day. Any unfortunately I did not see Aragorn either, for he was the one I wished to see. I felt guilty about my encounter with Boromir, and bad about our earlier disagreement. After much thought, I decided he was probably right. We must keep our love secret, known only to ourselves and Arwen - none of us would dare say a word to anyone, not until the time was right. Which it probably wasn't. Aragorn was not at lunch, nor dinner. The elf sitting on my right during the evening meal said he had gone out riding, that he had something to do. This worried me, and after dinner, I stood silently in the shadows on one of the balconies of the house of Elrond, watching for his return. Only when I glimpsed him on his horse, trotting slowly into Rivendell, did I feel at rest. When I saw him coming towards the house, I made my way to his rooms to await him.   
He entered several minutes later, looking tired and dishevelled from riding. He smiled when he saw me, and I stood and took wrapped my arms around him. He seemed to take to my embrace gladly, and I heard him sigh contentedly as he put his arms around my waist.  
"I am sorry for our argument this morning," he whispered.  
"It is I who should be sorry," I replied "For it was I who was wrong. You were right, we should keep our love secret, at least for now."   
"Yes," he said "I do not feel it is the right time, yet."  
"Well, you look as if you need much rest, so I shall leave you now," I pulled away gently. "Love you, Aragorn," I said quietly.  
"Love you too my prince," he replied, kissing me gently on the lips.  
And with that, I left, my lips still tingling with his kiss, his gentle, tender kiss; so unlike the roughness of the forced kiss I had received from Boromir. For whereas his kiss was one of contempt and discourtesy, Aragorn's soft kiss was one of love.   
  
TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Legolas's POV  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 6  
  
After saying goodnight to Aragorn, I went for a walk in the quietened gardens, feeling happy and enjoying having the night to myself. I walked for several hours, thinking about little other than my love for Aragorn, before I felt sleep drawing near, and deciding it was time to return to my room.   
I undressed, and climbed into the comfortable, soft bed, and sinking into the pillows, I slept. And for the first time in ages, I dreamed...  
  
There was a city by the sea. It was night time, and a harsh wind was blowing, the waves buffeting against the rocks. I walked into a room to find my mother and father seated at a table. "Where is Boromir?" I enquired. "He is out on the sea," my mother replied, waving a hand casually towards a window. Gazing out, I felt a surge of panic as I saw the silhouette of a small boat being tossed around on the waves, a person on the decks clinging desperately to a rope. "Why did you not tell me?" I said as I pulled on my cloak.  
"You can't do anything now," said my mother "just wait at the docks for him."  
With that I ran out of the building and down to the sea, looking desperately around for the docks. Seeing a woman nearby, I ran to her and asked where the docks were. She pointed behind me, and sure enough, docks had appeared. On one end, someone had drawn some marvellous pictures of a sunny seascape on the wooden floor. I edged around them carefully, not wanting to destroy them, yet still looking around desperately for Boromir, for the boat he was sailing on had disappeared. Dashing further along the platform, I found him, sitting on a box at a table with some other men. My heart slowed as I approached and the panicky feelings left me. Then I realised I had no reason to be there, but it was too late to leave, for he had seen me. "Er...hello, Boromir," I greeted him, and nodded to the other men at the table. Boromir smiled and stood up, excusing himself from the others. "Let us find somewhere more sheltered to sit," he said, and led the way further along the platform, to a building on the end. Inside, there were many tables and chairs. Sitting down at a corner table, Boromir signalled to a maid carrying a tray of mugs. He spoke quietly to her, what he said I could not hear, but she nodded and went into another part of the building.   
She returned minutes later, and spoke to him. He thanked her and stood up, grinning. "Come," he said, and followed the woman through the doors. Following, I found myself in a hallway, lavishly decorated in rich reds and gold. Boromir pulled me through a doorway into a room with similar decor, where there were several other people, both human and elven, dressed in their best robes and causing me to feel rather under-dressed for such a room. I recognised one pair of elves as Galadriel and Celeborn, who greeted me with a smile. I looked to Boromir, feeling confused. What was I doing here?   
Suddenly music began to play from somewhere in the room. Everyone paired up, and began to dance in a very choreographed fashion around the room. Boromir grinned at me, and I stood against a wall, trying to figure out what I was doing here. The music ended, and Galadriel spoke to me. "Join in, Legolas," she said "Go, dance with Boromir."  
"But- " I began to protest, only to be interrupted as Boromir grabbed my hand and pulled me into the middle of the room. He the put one hand on my waist, and raised my hand a little so our clasped hands were at shoulder height. Looking around the room, I saw the other pairs had struck similar poses, and mimicked the position they had taken up by placing a hand on Boromir's shoulder, resting my arm against his. The music started up, and we began to dance. I found it surprisingly easy, but at the back of my mind I wondered if Aragorn would feel jealous if he saw me dancing with another man. The music ended, and I reluctantly began to pull away. But Boromir kept hold of me. "We dance again, fair elf," he whispered. So we stood in the same pose as before, waiting for the music to start. There seemed to be a problem with the music, and one of the men went to find out what the problem was. We waited a long time, and I resisted the urge to rest my head on Boromir's shoulder, then gave in and rested comfortably against him until the music began again.  
We danced again and again, each time I found it easier and easier to copy the way the others were dancing, and each dance I was enjoying this closeness to Boromir more and more...  
  
I awoke, feeling confused. Why had I just dreamt about the man in that way? I did not even know him well, and had felt certain I held no feelings for him, I did not even like him that much even as a comrade. Sure, there was that encounter in the gardens...but that was merely because he had twisted it to his advantage, because he had *made* me feel that way, with his words and actions, completely against my will - I was certain of that! Yet my dream troubled me, it seemed almost as if it had awoken feelings for the man that I didn't know I had. I felt guilty that I had dreamed about Boromir and not Aragorn, even more so as I realised I could remember every detail about the 'meeting' in the gardens - from the birdsong in the trees, to the feel of the man's lips upon mine and his earthy, manly smell.   
I felt sure that trouble lay ahead - the sense of foreboding was strong.  
  
TBC 


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: Not Mine. Don't sue, I'm broke  
  
NOTES: Aragorn's POV  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 7  
  
The morning was bright and sunny, and I could hear the sound of birds and the songs of the elves as I walked through the gardens, a spring in my step and my heart light. I enjoyed taking walks before breakfast; it allowed me to think about things, although all I wished for now was to have Legolas in my company. With that thought, I turned and strode back towards the house, looking forward to taking the morning meal.  
  
At the table, Legolas and I took up our façade, pretending to be little more than comrades. It pained me to do so, and when I glanced at him I saw a troubled look in his eyes. All through breakfast, I noticed he kept looking at Boromir, a confused expression on his face. I resolved to ask him of this later, when we had time to speak in private.  
  
I did not get to talk to him until most of the household had retired to their chambers. He was in a library, seated at the window and gazing out with glassy eyes.   
"Legolas?"  
He looked up, and smiled when he saw me, "Aragorn, it pleases me to see you."  
Sitting beside me, I brought up the question that had been in my mind all day. "You looked troubled this morning. What bothers you so?"  
"It is nothing," he replied, gazing out of the window again.  
Knowing this was untrue, I felt the urge to press further about this, but could feel his discomfort on the matter, and let it drop. "Well if you have troubles, do not hesitate to speak of them to me," I told him.  
"Thank you, Aragorn," he said, without turning back from looking out of the window.  
I sat with him for a while, occasionally we made conversation but he did not seem to want to talk. Eventually I took my leave, and bidding him good night, retired to my rooms.   
  
I did not sleep when I got there. Instead I sat at the desk, thinking about Legolas. Something was definitely troubling him, yet he would not tell me of it. I worried that it was to do with me, or something terrible that he could not speak to me about. It worried me greatly, and I knew that I could not rest properly until I knew of what troubles him.  
  
I sat there for hours, until the first suggestion of sunshine appeared over the horizon. I couldn't find anything for Legolas to fret over, aside from our being discovered; I could not see that it was a subject he could not talk to me about; after all I too had the same worry.  
  
I slept only a short while, during the time it took for the sun to rise into the sky. The sun seemed overly bright, causing me to squint when I went to the window. Outside, I could see everyone going about their daily business, and smiled as I saw Legolas. As he walked along a pathway, I saw that man, Boromir, coming the other way, and stop him to talk with him. Legolas looked a little bothered by the man, and just as I was about to go outside to greet them both, the Gondorian looked up to my window, and raised a hand in greeting, a smile - or a smirk - spreading across his face. Legolas turned when to look too, when he saw Boromir raise his hand, and smiled his beautiful smile at me, giving me a nod of acknowledgement. I waved to them both, and watched as they both went on their way; Boromir returning to the house of Elrond, and Legolas out into the beautiful gardens of Rivendell.  
  
All were gathered at the table for breakfast, Legolas had returned from his walk seeming happier, yet when he saw Boromir sitting further along the table, he seemed to almost retract into himself, looking like he wished he was invisible. I fixed him with a stare, then raised my eyebrows, and looked pointedly towards the man. Legolas just dropped his eyes to his plate, suddenly very interested in his food.  
I caught up with him later that day, challenging him about his quietness, and his unwillingness to engage in conversation with Boromir.  
"What do you mean, I looked discomforted?" Legolas turned away.  
"That is what I felt."  
He did not reply.  
"Legolas, I can *see* that the man makes you uncomfortable. All I'm asking is why?"  
"He just...I just...I just dislike him that is all," he sighed.  
"That is unusual for you, Legolas, you usually seem friendly towards everyone besides those infernal Orcs,"  
"Boromir might as well be an Orc, for there is no place for him as a companion, he disgusts me, he is so coarse and common, he is rough and brash, he is far from being a gentleman. How can he be the son to the Steward of Gondor?" he sounded irritated.  
"Give him a chance, mell," I said gently, laying a hand on his arm. He sighed, and giving me a longing look, made his excuses and left.  
I watched him walk away, disappearing down the hallways and out of my view. I wished that I could spend more time with him, yet we both knew we could not afford to arouse suspicion by spending too much time with each other. I wished that I could spend a night wrapped in his arms, to sleep beside him, to dream his dreams. Yet how could I? Despite the occasional secret kisses, stolen in locked rooms and hidden doorways, Legolas and I spent no more time together, expressed nothing more for each other, than we did when we were merely friends. We still were only friends, it was not as if we were courting in any way - the whole of Middle Earth would be shocked if we were to do that. The only difference between then and now was that we have confessed our true feelings for each other.  
Yet we are tied from acting upon them. 


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke  
  
NOTES: Legolas's POV  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 8  
  
Aragorn challenged me today about Boromir. Said, I seemed 'discomforted' by his presence. I told him something about how I disliked the man, that he was uncouth. He did not seem to fully believe me. I felt him watching me as I was walking away. If only we could tell the world about our love. I would happily shout it from the rooftops, I would go as far as to ride to every household in Middle Earth - including that of the Dark Lord's - in order to announce it. But I cannot. Aragorn and I agreed that it was not the time, that people wouldn't accept it.  
But where does that really leave us?   
And why does everybody frown upon such love? If Aragorn were an elf maiden, we could announce our love and people would congratulate us. As we are, we would only be condemned for feeling like we do.  
To add to this trouble, there is Boromir. Boromir, who would probably lay a girl as soon as look at her; Boromir, who would try to seduce Galadriel herself away from her husband. Boromir, the man who infects my dreams with his own image, the man who kissed me fast and harshly without my consent...the man who seems to be taking over part of my heart.  
But this is purely ridiculous! My heart in its whole belongs to Aragorn, it always will do. I don't really feel anything for Boromir, these things I *think* I feel are merely brought on by our encounter amongst the trees, and that dream which haunts me so. And because the man seems to be trying hard to seduce me. I don't *really* have any feelings for him...do I?  
  
An unanswerable question, the type I dislike even more than the questions that have answers I wish were different. I could not tell how I felt about Boromir, or even whether I felt anything for him at all. Only time will tell how I truly feel.  
But right now, it seemed as if my heart was being torn in two.   
  
I saw the Gondorian in the morning, and he stopped me to talk, without any real reason.  
"Good morning, Legolas,"  
"Good morning."  
"A great day for a walk, you should try it!" he said rather *too* enthusiastically.  
"That is my intention," I had replied, trying to be polite.  
"But what other intentions do you have?" he asked in a low voice, raising an eyebrow suggestively.  
"I-" I began, but stopped when I saw him raise his hand, looking back towards the house. Turning, I followed his line of vision, and saw Aragorn, gazing down at us from his window. Smiling, I gave him what I hoped looked like a friendly nod, to which he waved back, and I took my chance to go on my way into the gardens, away from Boromir. I wonder if it was this short conversation with the man that drove Aragorn to question me about the way I acted around him.  
I cannot help the way I feel around Boromir. He causes me to feel confused about my feelings, and I find myself acting in ways I wouldn't usually, and saying things I wouldn't usually say. This makes me angry, angrier still due to the fact that I feel both repelled and attracted to the man.   
After seeing him in the morning, I half wished I could see him again. I found myself purposefully going into one of the communal rooms in the house, in which I had often seen him sitting in.  
I sat about for ages, waiting to see if he turned up. He glanced in the room momentarily, before disappearing back into the darkness outside. I waited some more, anticipating his return, missing his presence, wishing he was there, until suddenly, he was. Yet we did not talk, for I realised I had nothing to say. I had no real desire to speak to him. So we said nothing to each other, speaking only every so often to others. But I could not help but keep glancing over at him, wishing he would come and talk to me, even if it were only to be rude and suggestive as I often found he was.  
Eventually, I went to my rooms, and slept an uneasy sleep, in which I was misfortuned enough to have another dream of Boromir.   
This time, we were on a dark road at night. I was leaning against a nearby fence and we were talking, when suddenly he grabbed my hand, and we began to run down the road, which was at a slope, until we reached this small house in which a cheery looking woman lived. She welcomed me with a smile and opened arms, yet she looked at Boromir with a scowl of mistrust, folding her arms tightly across her chest. Other things happened within this dream, yet I cannot recall them.  
When I awoke, I questioned my dreams once more. Why was I dreaming of Boromir? I did not like him, I was sure of that. He irritated me. The thought of being with him made me feel physically sick, and I felt guilty inside, as if I had cheated on Aragorn. Yet this was madness! How could I cheat on one so noble as Aragorn, with a human as unwholesome as Boromir? This tangle of thoughts almost drove me to question my sanity. Maybe I was going a little mad. After all, I *appeared* to have feelings for Boromir, when my heart belongs to Aragorn. But - and I shuddered to think of this - what if I *am* loosing all good judgement, and my feelings for *Aragorn* are merely a figment of my imagination? If this were true, and it were discovered, it would ruin any chance left of friendship that I had with him, not to mention the terrible matter of breaking his heart. And I did not want to be the one to do that. Yet, if I am perfectly sane of mind, then these thoughts of Boromir were not anything to do with insanity. And if Aragorn discovered these thoughts, then this too, would break his heart, and cause an unhealable breach between us.   
So as with much of life, all I can do is wait. Wait and see what unfolds, and pray to Elbereth that everything works out for the best. 


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke  
  
NOTES: Aragorn's POV.   
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 9  
  
When I saw Legolas look at me in the way he did, I knew it was no use trying to curb my wants and needs any longer. I want him. He knows it.  
It's a dangerous thing to do, after all, who knows who might catch us? But I think I'm going to go mad if I don't get to do this.   
He is mine, and yet I have never claimed him. I suppose, it hasn't been the right time up until now. But I feel so strongly about him, I cannot wait another second, and I know it must be the right time to take this step.   
We have to be very careful, I know this. We have to be as discreet as possible; I feel as if I am dishonouring Lord Elrond already by not letting him know of the feelings I hold for Legolas, let alone wanting to do this. But it's something that must be done. I am sure Legolas feels the same way, and I intend to proposition it to him as soon as I get the chance.   
  
****  
It was evening before I was able to talk to Legolas on his own, away from anyone. The evening meal had been served, and now people were adjourning to the sitting rooms and gardens. Strolling nonchalantly outside, I motioned for Legolas to follow me. We walked apart into a deserted area far from anyone else. Looking around to check that the place truly *was* deserted, Legolas then took me into his arms and kissed me softly, his lips like the flutter of a butterfly's wing.   
  
For a while we stood, not saying anything, just holding each other. I loved this closeness, how I could smell his scent, hear his breathing, and feel the warmth flowing through his body. It was all I could do not to push him to the ground now, pull off his clothing and show him pleasure, show him the true depth of my love for him, make him truly mine.  
"Legolas?"  
"Yes my love?"  
I searched for the right words to say to him. "I do not know the right way to put this...Legolas, we've...we've known each other for such a time, known of how we feel for each other...its getting hard to hold it all in. I-"  
"You wish to make love?" Legolas shocked me a little with the ease that he said those words.  
"Well...only if you do,"  
He smiled. "I would love it,"  
"Alright...um...when?" I never planned our conversation this way, and had forgotten all I meant to say.  
"My room is in the top of the house...come to it, when the house is quiet and the moon has risen high in the sky."  
"How will you know it is me?"  
"Knock three times on the door, then pause, then knock twice. Then I will know it is you," he said softly  
"Until then, my fair prince," I spoke quietly, as we parted, both taking a different path away from the place in which we met.   
******  
I ensured I did not reach the house until long after Legolas had returned. Instead of returning straight after our liaison, I walked around outside, thinking about what tonight would bring. Tonight, Legolas and I would lay together. Tonight, at last, our souls would be one, if only for a little while. I must admit, I was feeling a little nervous. It was going to be the first time I could express myself in this way, I was worried I would do something wrong, or that he wouldn't enjoy it, that I wouldn't enjoy it, or that we'd be heard. Hopefully we won't.  
  
I should be intoxicatingly happy about this, but seriously, what if he really doesn't like it? It might mean the end for us. I am so afraid of doing it wrong, I really don't want to hurt him and have him never speak to me again.  
But why am I not happy? I forced myself to forget all these worries and focus on the important things: Tonight, there will be a union of souls. Legolas's and mine. And I will allow nothing to stop that. I love Legolas with all my heart, mind, body and soul, and I will not let him down on his expectations.   
  
I was determined to show Legolas the greatest pleasure he had ever known in his long years, and hopefully the greatest love he'd ever known as well.  
  
As I reached the house, I met with Boromir, who was sitting on a chair outside the door, taking in the night air.  
"Good evening, Strider," he said, calling me by my ranger name, a smirk on his face as if he knew something I didn't.  
"Good evening, Boromir," I replied as politely as possible, not stopping to talk  
"Yeah, have a good one," he said as I walked past and into the house.  
"Strange man," I mused as I ascended the stairs to my rooms. Once there, I washed, then tried to find things to keep me busy until the time that the moon was high in the sky. I sat looking outside at the moon, willing it to move into the sky, willing all those still awake in the house to retire to their beds and sleep a deep sleep, not waking until sunrise. But the moon sped up for no one, and I had to wait.   
Sitting at the small desk in the room, I pulled out a piece of paper and tried to write. Several tries later, I gave up, throwing the screwed up page to the ground with frustration, and returned to the window to gaze at the moon. "Hurry moon," I urged in my mind. "I cannot wait much longer." 


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: Not Mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Legolas's POV  
  
A/N: Raising the rating for this one...  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 10  
  
Tonight is the night. Tonight, my greatest dreams come true. Tonight, Aragorn will come to me, and we shall at last be as one. I cannot describe how joyful this makes me feel, nor can I explain the extent of the love I hold for the man; he means the world to me. And finally, we can show each other how strongly we feel. My body has ached for such a thing for a while; it has sometimes been difficult to hide. I can barely wait to hear the special knock on the door, to hold him in my arms in such a way I have never been able to before.   
  
After speaking with Aragorn in an empty part of the gardens, I made my way quickly back to the house. Once there, I went to bathe a while before later, allowing the warm water to run over me, wishing Aragorn was there to share such a moment. I wanted to sit him in front of me, and wash him inch by inch with a washcloth, then kiss each inch as it was cleaned. Then I would take his hand and lead him to the bed. These thoughts were mere wishes. One day, I hoped, we could do that.  
When I finished bathing, I dressed, re-braided my hair, and sat by the window, watching the moon as it rose bit by bit into the night sky, wishing it would move faster, so the time would come when Aragorn would knock on my door, and we would make love.  
  
Thinking back to our earlier meeting, Aragorn seemed surprised that I knew what he was trying to say. I wanted to hear him say it, but he seemed to have trouble with saying such a thing - I think he was a little embarrassed, and I could tell he hadn't suggested such a thing to anyone before. He seemed a little shocked that I could say it so easily, but this is why: it was something I had been trying to stop myself from asking for a while; I was worried I would turn him away if I asked for such a thing. Then I realised it was what he wanted too, and I no longer needed to hold back.  
  
A knock at the door interrupted my reverie. I listened. Three knocks. Pause. Two knocks. Hurriedly I put out the candles, allowing only the soft light of the moon - now risen high into the midnight sky - to bathe the room with her pale glow. It provided just enough light to see a silhouette of everything. I felt a little self conscious as I arranged myself - in what I hoped was an alluring way - on the bed.  
"Come in," I called out. Through the gloom, I could see the door open, and he walked in, a mere shadow in the half darkness, and closed the door behind him again. I watched as he came towards me, slowly and silently.  
Then I felt his lips crash down upon mine, in a kiss of fiery passion and desire, tongue ravishing my mouth sending shivers down my spine, I closed my eyes, and felt one of his hands tangled in my hair at the back of my head, the other pushing me down to lay back on the bed. As we continued kissing, I wrapped my arms around him, feeling the softness of his clothing beneath my fingers and his hair falling upon my face, smelling of the earth. I felt his hands travelling downwards to the place in between my legs, stroking, caressing, until my organ was hardened and pushing hard against the material of my clothes. Then I felt him pull at them, and withdrawing my arms from around him, helped him cast my clothes to the floor, my elfhood finally exposed to the air. He took it in his hands, running his thumb over the tip and causing the pleasure to rise within my body. Then he pulled away from kissing me, and as I was about to reach out and pull him back, I felt him take my organ into his mouth, wrapping his tongue around it, licking and sucking as my arousal grew and my breathing laboured. Then he took it as far into his mouth as possible, I could feel the end of my elfhood brush the back of his throat, as he sucked more, running his tongue over parts of it. I could feel myself climaxing, as my breather grew heavier still; as I hit my climax, I could not help but call out Aragorn's name as I came in his mouth, shocks of pleasure running though my body.  
All hope that no one had heard were dashed when I heard an angry voice say, "What in Middle Earth is going on here?"   
I groaned inwardly. Aragorn and I had been caught. We would be cast of Rivendell, banished, I would be sent from my family in Mirkwood a disgrace, and we'd be forced to live as outcasts. All because we were not careful enough.   
Opening my eyes, I saw that the room was filled with candlelight. I looked to the door, expecting to see Lord Elrond, or one of his sons. A sick feeling entered my stomach as I saw what I least expected. A saddened but angry face, eyes glistening with tears looked back at me.   
Eyes widening, I could feel my mouth open in shock. I did not dare to look at the man crouching between my legs as I spoke the name of the man at the door, my voice high with anguish.  
"Aragorn?!" 


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: Not mine, Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Aragorn's POV.  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 11  
  
Candle in hand, I stood at the door, shocked and upset by what I saw. I had not knocked at his door, I was about to when I heard Legolas call out my name, and worried at the stress that sounded in his voice, I pushed the door open, only to stop in my tracks at the scene before me.  
Legolas, my love, lay spread-eagled on the bed, naked, his breathing laboured, cheeks flushed, and dishevelled hair spread across the pillows. Between his legs, crouched Boromir, fully clothed, a malevolent smile upon his face.  
Legolas looked at me, and then his expression turned to something unreadable, and he spoke my name, his voice high.  
I did not reply, I could not. I just stood there, staring at them, and feeling as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest and thrown into the fires of Mount Doom.  
"Oh Elbereth!" I heard Legolas whisper. "Aragorn?" he spoke my name again. "Speak to me, please!" his expression was distraught.  
Still I said nothing.  
Boromir stood up, and straightened his tunic. "Looks like I pleasured the elf more than you ever did," he said, swaggering towards the doorway "Hope it was as good for you as it was for me, elf-boy," he called back to Legolas, who was now pulling on his clothes. I stopped the hateful man, pushing him back into the room and closing the door, then stood in front of it in order to prevent anyone from leaving, or entering. I put the candle on the small table by the door, and crossed my arms, glaring at him.  
"What. Is. Going. On?" I demanded, my voice hardened despite the fact I wanted to run from that room and get out of Rivendell at that moment.  
"What does it look like?" Boromir replied, "I showed your fine prince pleasure."   
"He enjoyed it too," he added. His words taunted me, and I wanted to wipe that smug smile from his face.  
"How *dare* you!" I said angrily.  
"Well you never claimed him as your own, *you* never showed him this pleasure. *Someone*had to. And that someone was me."  
That was all I could take, and with anger fuelling my strength, I struck Boromir on the chin, causing him to stumble.  
He glared at me, and without an inkling of warning, sprang forward and hit me back.  
Before either of us knew if, we were in the middle of a fight, punches being thrown all over the place, not hearing Legolas begging us to stop before we awoke people. I threw a punch right at his face, bloodying his nose, then another in his stomach. He doubled over, looking up at me with narrowed eyes. Then he sprang forward, and I saw a flash of metal, and felt a blade bury in my stomach. As I fell backwards, I saw something whiz past my line of vision, and Boromir stumbled backwards, an arrow embedded in his arm.  
"Legolas, get Aragorn to his room," a voice broke across the room, Elrond's voice. "The guards can take care of Boromir."  
Legolas immediately unloaded the second arrow from his bow, which he had readily aimed at Boromir, and dropping them down, rushed towards me.  
  
I vaguely remembered being lifted gently up into his strong arms, feeling the pain in my stomach as I was moved, then being carried to my room, and laid on the bed. More pain. I remember candles being lit, light filling the room. Then fading into blackness as my eyes closed and I passed out.  
  
When I awoke, it was daylight. The room was empty, but I could vaguely hear people arguing outside. I tried to make out what the people were saying, but their voices were too low to hear. Eventually the door opened, and Lord Elrond stepped in. Behind him, I saw Legolas's face peering in, and turned my eyes away. The door closed, and I looked back to see that only Elrond had entered the room.  
"Ah, you have woken," he said, taking a seat by the bedside. He pulled back the sheets and examined the wound on my stomach. "Shouldn't be long now before that's completely healed."  
He sat back and sighed. "I'm not going to ask what happened that night."  
"That night?!" I wondered. How long had I been sleeping?  
"After all, I cannot get Legolas or Boromir to speak of it. However I *did* see Boromir attack you with that knife. He has been sent from Rivendell back to Gondor, and shall not be welcome back here until I see it fit for him to return."  
I nodded. So Boromir was gone. "How long have I slept?" I asked.  
"Two nights since your...disagreement...with Boromir," he answered. "I gave you something to make the wound heal quicker...unfortunately it causes you to sleep for an unnaturally long time in the meanwhile."  
He stood to go. "Please remember, I do not wish to hear of, or see, any more disagreements in my household. I am letting it drop this time, but next time I shall be wanting to get to the bottom of it."  
I nodded again, feeling like a child being told off.  
"Now, Legolas is outside, he wishes to talk to you. I told him he could not see you until you are awake, but you still need rest, at least another day in bed. Do you wish to speak with your friend now?"  
"No, please send him away," I replied. "I do not wish to see him," I muttered under my breath.  
Elrond raised an eyebrow at me. "As you wish," he said, and left.  
I turned my head away from the door as he opened it, not wishing to see Legolas's face, for I knew I would cry if I did so.  
I could not believe what he had done to me. He had betrayed my trust, shunned my love, and broken my heart. And now I had nothing.   
Then somehow inside me, I reached some calmness, blankness. It is all I could feel. Not sad, nor angry, not heartbroken, not melancholy. It was as if all my emotions had been sucked out, and there was just blankness. Empty. 


	12. Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Legolas's POV  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 12  
  
My heart raced as I helped Aragorn to lie on the bed. I heard him groan in pain, and hurriedly lit the candles in the room so as to see his wounds better. A small dagger stuck into his stomach, a little blood oozing out from around the edges of its blade. Looking to Aragorn's face, I saw his eyes had closed.   
"I thought it was you," I whispered, placing a hand on his cheek. I don't think he heard me. Then, hearing approaching footsteps and voices, I stepped back, and stood aside, allowing Lord Elrond to tend to my beloved's wound.  
  
I had been pushed out of the room eventually; Lord Elrond had become irritated at my presence in the room, for I was not doing anything to help. I tried to help, but only got in the way. So feeling bewildered, I stepped outside into the night air, walking deep into the gardens. It was only when I was far away from the house, far from anyone, that I allowed myself to cry.  
How could I have done that to Aragorn? How could I have mistaken Boromir for him? I slumped down against a tree, and buried my face in my hands. In one moment, all my joy and happiness had come crashing down around my ears. One minute I felt sure that Aragorn was pleasuring me, and felt a surge of joy and contentment within my heart. I even cried out his name! Then he appeared at the door, and seeing the look on his face made me feel as if my heart was going to break.  
I felt disgusted with myself, so dirty, so foul. My own being repulsed me. Jumping up, I ran back to the house and drew a bath, scrubbing at my skin until it was red raw and hurt all over, bleeding scratches here and there from rubbing too hard with the rough washcloth. Then I drew another bath, and rubbed my skin all over with the soap, then rinsed myself off. Then I washed my hair three times, wanting to remove any suggestion of my mistake from my body, imagining dirt still all over me. I only stopped when I heard a knock at the door, and a soft female voice calling to me.   
"Legolas? Are you there? It is Arwen."  
I hurriedly pulled on clothes, and went to the door.  
She flung her arms around my neck as I opened the door, pulling me close to her.  
"I heard what happened," she said.  
Pulling away, I led her into the room and motioned for her to take the seat, and sitting on the edge of the bed, facing her.  
"He will be okay you know. My Father is one of the best healers in Middle Earth," she stated as she sat down.  
"Its all my fault, I should have realised it wasn't him," I said, fighting back the tears.  
"Do you want to tell me everything that happened?" she asked, "I won't tell anyone, not even Father."  
I sighed. "I do not wish to pain you with the knowledge, I know you still feel for Aragorn."  
"That is true, but I know we were not meant to be. It is you, Legolas, and Aragorn, who were destined to be together."  
"It won't happen now," I answered morosely.   
"Tell me what happened, please," she begged  
"Alright, I shall, but I wish you would not ask me this; for I do not want to sadden you," I relented.  
"Aragorn and I...we planned to...we planned to show each other the full extent of our love," I chose my words carefully, taking my time over the way I said it.   
Arwen nodded, understanding, and I continued.  
"We decided to meet here, in my room, as it is furthest away from the rest of the house, we did not want to disturb anybody. He was going to knock in a particular way when he arrived. I waited, and when I heard that special knock, I put out the candles in order to allow only moonlight in the room..." I paused, feeling a little embarrassed. "I thought it would be more romantic."  
Arwen smiled a little at that notion, and nodded for me to carry on.  
"In the moonlight, only silhouettes and shadows were visible; I believed it was Aragorn who entered the room, for although he said nothing, the way he knocked suggested it was him. I assumed it was, for we had arranged this in private, far from anyone...I guess it was not private enough.  
"We kissed, and...and one thing led to another, and...and I guess he must have heard me call out his name, for I never heard a knock, only the sound of his voice when he entered the room." I could not bring myself to detail everything, and knew Arwen probably wouldn't wish to hear it either.  
"So you believed it was Aragorn in the room, not Boromir?"  
I winced at the other man's name.   
"Yes," I answered, my voice small. "And now I have lost him forever."  
"Aragorn is a reasonable man, he always has been. Explain to him your mistake, and how Boromir deceived you, and he will understand. Don't lose hope," Arwen said kindly.  
"I do so hope he will forgive this terrible mistake," I said. "I have to admit, I have been feeling...attracted...to Boromir these last few days, yet at the same time repulsed. I was severely confused by this...now I know that I hate him."  
Arwen looked angered when I mentioned how I'd felt attracted to Boromir, then her expression softened as I explained how he repulsed me too, and I was unsure how I felt. She nodded in agreement when I told her I hated him.  
"He tried to seduce you, Legolas," she said. "Somehow he saw through the act you and Aragorn have been playing so well, and tried to destroy what you both have. I too, despise this man, it is those like him that prevent the Eldar from having faith in mankind."  
We sat in silence for a little while.   
"I hope Aragorn is alright," I said.  
"He will be. Father has given him a potion to make the wound heal. He shall sleep for a few days, but he shall be fine." She stood up.  
"I must go. Please remember that I am here if you need to talk...about anything," she said, as she walked to the door. "It is not your fault, all this. You are not the one in the wrong. Do not forget that."  
I rose to see her out, and she turned back to me. "Do not be cruel to yourself," she said, and pulling out a handkerchief, she stepped towards me and held it to my cheek. Drawing it away, she revealed a bit of blood marking the whiteness of the handkerchief. I put my hand to my cheek to feel a bleeding scratch, and other smaller scratches that had already healed over. She placed the handkerchief in my hand. "Take care, my friend."  
"Thank you," I whispered, and with that she left.  
  
I spent hours after my conversation with Arwen contemplating the events of the past night. I could see how she could say that it was not my fault, yet it still seemed that it was: I should have realised that it was not Aragorn. The bleeding scratch on my cheek healed after I blotted it a little more with Arwen's handkerchief. I then washed it, trying to get every trace of blood from it. Leaving it to dry, I reminded myself to return it to her.  
I could not wait until I could see Aragorn again, to explain what had happened to him - hoping that he would understand.  
Lord Elrond would not let me sit at his bedside, despite my argument that he was a very good friend to me, and that he sat at my bedside after I was injured by Orcs. Aragorn did more than that for me, I recalled. Aragorn brought me back from the brink of death. Elrond told me he understood that Aragorn and I were close; he said that it was probably partly due to the ritual they used in which Aragorn's soul and my soul were merged for a time - the ritual that saved my life.   
But despite my begging, he would still not allow me to see him. I was mildly irritated by this, as he allowed Aragorn to do such a thing before. I think maybe he was bothered by the fact nobody would tell him exactly what was going on in that room.  
Boromir had had his cuts and bruises tended to, and the arrow I had implanted into his arm removed, and he had been sent home with a group of elves as an escort, one of them carrying a message to the Steward of Gondor to explain Boromir's wounds, and to say that he would not be welcome in Rivendell until he was invited, if such an event would ever arise. It was a weight from my shoulders to have Boromir gone; yet still I bore the weight of worrying about Aragorn.  
Then, one day Elrond had told me, "You may speak with your friend for only a short while, if he has awoken, and *only* if he is willing to speak with anyone - the potion I gave him will make him drowsy."  
I was overjoyed to hear this, and waited impatiently outside his room, pacing up and down. I could hear conversation inside, and my heart lifted a little to know that Aragorn was finally awake.   
When Elrond came out of the room, I stepped forward to enter, but he stopped me, saying words that struck my heart with the devastating effect of lightning hitting a tree.  
"He does not wish to see you." 


	13. Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: Not Mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Aragorn's POV  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 13  
  
I lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to arrange my thoughts. There was no mistaking what I had seen two nights ago in Legolas's room. He had taken pleasure from another man on the very night he was going to take it from me...on the very night I was going to show him the very extent of my love for him. I had planned to pledge myself to him for the rest of my life. Now I do not know that I would pledge myself to him for a mere second of my life.  
The pain I felt within my heart had come and gone, numbed into emptiness, and I felt nothing.  
Why was I thinking about Legolas? Although I loved him, he obviously did not feel the same way, else he would not have done such a deceitful thing to me. Arwen loved me. And I knew that deep inside my heart, I still loved her too, but in the wrong sort of way. Maybe that's how Legolas feels for me. Maybe he only loves me as a close friend.  
I realised I had been setting my priorities all wrong. My duty was to rid the land of those disgusting Orcs, and eventually, maybe one day I would return to Gondor and take my place as king. Yet I was not sure of doing that, for I loved life as a ranger, I knew not if I could handle the responsibilities that a king had. I admired those such as Lord Elrond, who had so much responsibility and always put the safety and needs of their lands before their own wants and needs. Although I knew my true roots, as son of Arathorn, heir to the throne of Gondor, I could not find it in myself to choose ruling that land over the solidarity that being a ranger sometimes would bring, and the great pride I felt within myself when in battle, felling Orcs left and right. That is how I wished to do duty to my kingdom, rather than being the king of it.  
Yet what if I had no other option but to take the throne of Gondor? A king needs a queen to rule beside him. Once upon a time that would have been Arwen. I had it all planned, once. I would assist in ridding Middle-Earth of Orcs, at least driving them far away from places where people dwelt. Then Arwen and I would be wed, and together we would go to Gondor, where I would claim my rightful place as king. There I would strive to be a just and fair ruler, ensure a happy kingdom for my people, and father both sons and daughters to rule over the kingdom after I had passed. And I would not make any of the mistakes my ancestors had made, I had been sure of that.  
But that was all before I started to feel differently for Legolas. After my feelings were realised, all my plans for the future changed. Now it was as uncertain as ever, even my past plans had never been concrete. Arwen and I were no longer courting; I was still unsure if Lord Elrond knew of this. I could count on one hand those who knew of the true situation: Legolas, Myself, Arwen...and Boromir. He may be a problem. I knew not how he discovered the truth about Legolas and I, maybe he just guessed, but I knew it was not good to have someone that I now regarded as an enemy to know such a dangerous and guarded secret.  
I hope he would not tell. Or to do so, he would be risking his own secrets. If he told of Legolas and myself, word would get out of his and Legolas's - I shuddered - liaison. Which would cause him to be spurned from his home, and likely to live as an outcast as would Legolas and I should our secret be exposed. Yet now, if this secret were to be revealed, we would not be living together as outcasts. For I was sure that Legolas did not care for me, and if he did, I was unsure that I would be able to look at him again without remembering that terrible scene in his room - the scene I was trying in vain to block from my memory, the events that played over and over in my mind. I did not know that I could ever forgive him - much as I knew I still loved him - for what he had done.  
What had driven him to tell me he loved me, when it was so evident that he did not? Had he merely played along, making a little game of it, to see how long it was before he could get me into bed?   
Or maybe he still does love me. Perhaps the thing with Boromir was a complete misunderstanding. No, I was losing my touch with reason now. I know what I saw: Legolas and Boromir. Boromir pleasuring Legolas. And yet I heard Legolas cry out my name! This, I told myself, *must* have been a mistake, for why would he call out my name when it was Boromir who was pleasuring him?  
The more I thought, the more furious I became. As far as I cared, I would happily never see Legolas again. As for Boromir, he should keep out of my way, if ever our paths cross.  
Lord Elrond had told me I must spend one more day in bed. I was not happy with this, for I wanted to get up, and go for a long walk. I could always think better when I was in the great outdoors, on my own, miles from anyone. Saying that, I had little trouble thinking here. I knew that it was over between Legolas and I. I decided I never wanted to see him again; I was not even interested in having his friendship. I wanted nothing to do with him. As for my feelings, they will be stifled, and I shall remain alone, single, and continue living the forever-lonely life of a ranger. It was the only solution I could think of. 


	14. Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke  
  
NOTES: Aragorn's POV  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 14  
  
A light tap on my door disturbed me from my thoughts. I sighed, for I had told Lord Elrond I did not wish to see anybody just yet. I ignored the knock, turning my head away from the door and closing my eyes, should the person waiting outside decide to come in anyway.   
"Aragorn?"   
"Come in, Arwen," I did not mind seeing her. She understood me, she always did. I could do with her wisdom at a time like this.  
She entered, closing the door behind her with next to no sound, and sat in a chair, which had been placed at the side of the bed.   
"It is good to see you awake my friend," she smiled.  
"What brings you here this fine day?" I inquired, seeing the sunshine and clear sky outside.  
"I merely came to see how you were," she replied innocently, "Can I not enquire on my friend's health?"  
I sighed, and looked away from her.  
"You know Boromir has left?" she asked  
"Yes," I replied, holding back all the curses I wished to place upon his name.  
We sat in silence for some time; she studied the blanket whilst I stared up at the ceiling. Why was she really here? I had to wonder. She must be here for some other reason than to enquire after me health, for she had done that, and she was still here. It was not that I didn't enjoy her company, for Arwen was truly like a sister to me, it was just I had the feeling she was here for other reasons.   
"What are you really here for, Arwen?" I asked finally.  
"As I said before, to enquire on your health. I do not like the idea of you spending all this time alone in here," she replied mildly.   
More silence. I had given up trying to find out what she was really here for; she would say it eventually. I watched her, deep in thought, searching for the right words to say, brow creased a little as she thought.  
Then she said something I did not expect.  
"Legolas misses you,"  
I turned my head away.   
"Do not speak that name to me," I said through gritted teeth.  
"But it is true!" she protested. "He told me what you had planned for that night, he told me how joyous he was feeling about it..." she trailed off, and turning back to her I could see she had paused to regain her composure - to speak of such things was obviously upsetting her, and I hated both myself and Legolas for that: Legolas for talking to her of it, and myself for not feeling for Arwen the way she felt for me.  
"He told me how he awaited your knock, how he pinched out the candles, and called for you to come in..."  
"I never knocked," I interrupted. "I *thought* I heard him cry out my name, when I was on the way to his chambers. I dashed in, and I know what I saw."  
"What you saw is true...but what you *think* was going on, and what actually happened are completely different," she said  
"But how do you know of this? How can you be sure that Legolas is not deceiving you, as he obviously deceived me!"  
"I know truth when I see it Aragorn," Arwen reasoned. "He was speaking the truth. He thought it was you."  
"Ridiculous!" I exclaimed. "How could he not distinguish between myself and Boromir?"  
"It is true," she replied, as calmly as ever. "Legolas believed it was you who knocked, that it was you who entered the room. You who gave him pleasure." She looked down, studying her hands, and I could see she was on the verge of tears. I felt so guilty, for once upon a time we were a couple, and it would her been her that would receive pleasure. Our relationship never came to that point, where as the relationship I have - *had* - with Legolas got there a lot quicker.  
"I don't know why you speak to me of this, it is obviously upsetting to you," I said as gently as I could. "I am sorry that is not something we could not share, it was not destined to be so."  
She looked at me, her eyes still shining with tears, and smiled wanly.  
"I will not hide the fact that I still love you, Aragorn," she said "But it is because of this that I come to you now, to ask you to see Legolas, to allow him to speak to you. He does love you."  
I sighed, but was not going to relent.   
"I cannot do that, Arwen. Legolas betrayed my trust, and the wounds he has caused in my heart run deeper than any that could be caused by a weapon of man." At that I looked down to my stomach, which was healing miraculously quickly. I made a note to find out the potion for that from Elrond.  
"So you refuse to see him?"  
"I do not wish to speak to him ever again," I said, my voice hardened.  
She sighed, and stood. "If that is your wish, so be it," she said, walking to the door.  
"But it will break his heart."  
  
TBC 


	15. Chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Legolas's POV  
  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 15  
  
As soon as Arwen stepped into the room, I could see that she did not bear good news. She had promised me she would go and talk to Aragorn, to see how he was feeling, seeing as Lord Elrond would not let me. He would not say no to his own daughter, especially as he still believed she and Aragorn we to be betrothed.  
I stood when she entered, and walking towards me, she motioned for me to sit again, as she herself sat.   
"How is he?" I asked.  
"Physically, he is fine," she replied, pulling her chair closer to mine. I could see there was something else.  
"And yet?" I pressed  
"Yet I worry for his health emotionally, he seems...different."  
"Different?" Upon hearing this, I felt the niggle of worry start to gnaw at my insides.  
"He seems to be completely unlike the man he once was," she said.  
"How so?" I inquired.  
"He seems harder, harsher. It seems as if his heart has become void of all human emotions..." her brow furrowed, "it is as if he has stopped caring about anything...anybody."  
She looked to me, the anxiety evident in her face.  
"I must see him," I told her, standing up.  
"No, you cannot!" she exclaimed, grabbing my arm and pulling me back down to the chair. "You cannot see him."  
"Why not?" I asked, "I care not what Lord Elrond says, I care about Aragorn, and I refuse to let anybody get in the way of me seeing him!"  
"Legolas, calm down," Arwen said, placing a calming hand on my arm.  
"I despise myself for being the one to tell you this...but when I spoke with Aragorn this morning, he refused to see you. I tried to persuade him to at least talk to you for a few minutes, but he would not."  
I bowed my head, ashamed at the tears that were welling up in my eyes, threatening to spill at any moment.  
"I'm sorry, Legolas," she left her chair and crouched before me, placing her hand upon mine, which were folded in my lap. "I tried, I really did...but it may take a long time for his wounds to heal..." she paused, "emotional wounds always do take longer to heal," she said distantly, to no one but herself. I knew she was speaking of her loss of Aragorn's love, and then it struck me: what if she was just making it up that Aragorn did not wish to see me? What if she told Aragorn that I was not interested in him, causing us to never speak again, leaving him to return to her?  
In a sudden rage, I jumped up.  
"How do I know these are not lies!" I shouted. She looked up at me, astonished at my outburst.  
"How do I know you are just making these things up, to keep me away from him?"  
She stood at that point, and looked me straight in the eye.  
"Legolas, you are my friend, and as a brother to me. I do not hide the fact that I still have feelings for Aragorn, feelings that you share for him. The love I feel for Aragorn is unconditional, and my first priority is his happiness. If he is happy beside you, and you are happy beside him, then I am happy for you. You should know I would not even consider trying to come between you two. I will always try my best to ensure the happiness of my two greatest friends." In her speech, she began to cry, and I immediately hated myself, knowing I was the cause of her tears. A trail of wetness on my cheek made me realise I too, was crying; for like Arwen, I was sure I had lost Aragorn's love.  
Stepping towards me she wrapped her arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder. I placed my arms gently around her, whispering words of comfort to her whilst my own tears flowed.   
"I'm so sorry, mellon," she whispered, "I tried hard to make him see the truth, yet it seems he has closed the doors to his heart, and my words did not reach him."  
She sniffed, and I remembered something. I pulled out her cleaned handkerchief and handed it back to her, and she took it gratefully, wiping her tears. Then she looked up at me, seeing my own tears, and wiped them away.   
"Legolas, I promise you, I shall try my best to make him see sense. Do not lose hope."  
"I am sorry too, Arwen, I apologise for shouting at you, I had no right to, you have done nothing other than try to help me, and be as a sister to me," I said humbly.  
"Oh do not fret about that," she said, "I understand you must be angry and upset, it is only natural."  
"Yet I feel as if I stole him from you. You were both happy until..."  
"Aragorn and I drifted apart long before he proclaimed his feelings for you," she cut in, "I could see it coming. And though my heart is saddened by my loss, I always knew my relationship with Aragorn would not last a lifetime."  
"You did?" I was surprised at her confession.  
She nodded.   
"How did you know?"  
"I just looked into my heart and saw what was there," she replied simply. "Look into yours, see you own true feelings, and live by them," she suggested.  
I thought for a moment, considering my feelings for Aragorn. And my tears dried.  
"Do you see?" she asked me.  
"See what? I do not understand," I replied.  
She smiled at me. "You and Aragorn have a love that could last forever," she explained. And as she said it, I realised I knew it all along. Now I just had to talk to him, apologise to him for my terrible mistake, and hope that he will forgive me. That I can have him back.  
For if I cannot, if I lose his love forever, I will surely die.  
  
TBC 


	16. Chapter 16

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Legolas's POV  
  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 16  
  
My heart already felt shattered when the news that Aragorn would not see me reached my ears. I had excused myself from Arwen's presence soon after our conversation, and retreated to my rooms, lying on my bed and crying like a child. I seemed to do that often. Not to mention how I spent so much time worrying about everything.  
There was a time when I had no worries, when my only care was to avoid being tagged by my friends and brothers in our childhood games. But my childhood was over many years ago now, and I am an adult. And in losing my childhood, I soon lost my naivety, and became weighed down with responsibility and the worries that adulthood brings.  
I did not mind some of the things that were brought with adulthood. Like the way I was no longer turned away from those I yearned for, lusted after, instead being welcomed into their arms...and their beds. Once I would have gone to anyone, if only to gain some pleasure. Yet now the only arms I wanted to be in, the only bed I wanted to lie in, was Aragorn's.   
Sitting up, I wiped my eyes, and went to the window. Outside, I could see others of my kin going about their daily business, all looking content and happy. The sun was shining brightly on me, yet I did not feel its warmth. I wished for the sky to cloud over, for the rain to pour down, a harsh wind to blow - anything that would mirror the feeling inside me.  
My heart felt a little more hopeful as a realisation hit me: as long as Aragorn and I were in the same house, in the same kingdom, he could not avoid seeing me; he could not avoid speaking to me else he would arouse suspicion as to why. And I hoped that in the small times I would be able to talk to him, that I could win him back; get him to see how sorry I was for our misunderstanding, and how much I truly do love him.  
As well as sad, I felt angry. Angry that I had allowed Boromir to try and seduce me. He wormed his way into my thoughts with the merest of touches, the briefest of kisses. He should be glad to be leaving Rivendell, for he would be sorry to meet me if he had stayed. I was angry with Lord Elrond, for pushing me out of the door, not allowing me to watch over Aragorn - he allowed Aragorn to watch over me! I was even angry with Aragorn, for not allowing me to see him, allowing me to say my piece  
But most of all, I was angry at myself, for pinching out the candles, causing it to be too dark to see clearly despite the hauntingly romantic glow of the moon; angry for being too caught up in the immense tension of the moment to say a word to the figure than entered my room. Angry with myself for not thinking that one as poetic as Aragorn would speak sweet words to me before he did anything. I was even angry with myself for being angry!  
I thumped the pillow, and sighed. Getting angry was getting me nowhere. I decided the best thing I could do was to try and see Aragorn. He may not wish to see me, but I needed to see him. With that, I left my room and made my way towards his chamber, determined to speak with him for even a moment.  
I strode determinedly along the hallway to his door, determined to walk in and demand that he speak with me. But as I neared the door, I remembered my manners, and rapped softly upon the door with my knuckles. If he was asleep, I did not wish to wake him by bursting in, nor did I want to walk in whilst Lord Elrond or one of his healers was tending to Aragorn's wound, for that would only anger my host.  
So I stood outside and waited until my knock was answered. Less than a few seconds after I had knocked, the door was pulled open and Lord Elrond peered out.   
"Legolas, what did you want?" he inquired. I looked past him into the room, catching Aragorn's eye. He broke eye contact, turning his head away, and I looked back to lord Elrond, realising he was awaiting an answer.  
"I wished to see Aragorn," I admitted, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed, and staring at my feet hoping that I wasn't blushing.  
"He does not wish to see anyone at this moment," Elrond stated. "But he shall be up and about by tomorrow. You may speak to him then,"  
I opened my mouth to point out that Arwen had been to see Aragorn, then thought better of it; for Elrond probably did not know of this.   
"You have something else to say?" The elf lord saw my expression, and I cursed myself for not keeping my mouth closed.  
"No...just...just give him my regards," I spluttered out, before dashing away down the hallway.  
I would have to wait until tomorrow before I could speak with him, find out if I could gain his forgiveness for the dreadful mistake. And I knew it would be the longest wait of my life.  
  
TBC 


	17. Chapter 17

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue. I'm broke.   
  
NOTES: Aragorn's POV.   
  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 17  
  
Lord Elrond closed the door again, and I turned my head back to look at him. He looked a little surprised for a moment, but he quickly changed his expression to the serious one he always wore when he noticed I was looking at him.  
"Legolas sends his regards," he said, watching me closely to see my reaction. I said nothing, keeping my expression as unchanged as possible, and merely nodded in acknowledgement to his words.  
He finished replacing the bandages on my stomach - a task that he had been interrupted from by Legolas.   
As he did so, I turned my thoughts to the pretty elf, thinking about the way his blond hair blew in the breeze, and the joy in his eyes when he was happy. Then I reminded myself I was angry with him, hurt by his actions, and frowned a little.   
"Did that hurt?" Lord Elrond saw my expression.  
"Oh, no my lord...I was thinking of other matters," I replied quickly. He just raised an eyebrow and went back to dressing my wound.   
"You should be up and about tomorrow," he told me as he finished. "Take it easy mind."  
"I can deal with it," I said to him, smiling gratefully.  
"I am aware of that, son of Arathorn. Your years as a ranger have toughened you greatly, but that does not mean you should not be careful after receiving a wound such as this."  
"Yes my lord. Thank you," I replied, wanting him to go away and leave me to my thoughts.  
It was as if he had read my mind, for just then he said, "Now I shall go and attend to my other business, and leave you to your thoughts. I shall see you at breakfast tomorrow." With that, he left.   
And I stared up at the ceiling, returning to my earlier thoughts.  
  
***  
  
I awoke the next day feeling a lot better than I had done for the past few days. The healing potion I had been given had worn off entirely, and I felt wide-awake and full of energy. Getting out of bed, I stood and pulled at the bandages around my stomach and saw that the wound had closed up leaving just a thin scab, which I could see would only leave a faint scar. Elvish medicine would never cease to amaze me.  
I quickly dressed and hurried down to breakfast, for I was feeling incredibly hungry that morning. It was only as I was reaching the dining hall that I remembered something that made me slow in my pace. Legolas. I did not let myself meet his gaze as I entered the room; but sat in my seat and stared at my plate. Next to me, Arwen turned and placed a hand on my arm, I turned to look at her and she smiled slightly, and rolled her eyes meaningfully towards Legolas before looking back to me. I could almost hear her thinking, "*Talk* to him!" but I did not. Instead I dropped her gaze and returned my eyes to the plate in front of me, and heard her sigh a little as she took her hand from my arm. I kept peering at my plate all through breakfast, never once looking up - not to Legolas, Arwen, Elrond, or anybody.   
After the meal, I made my was out of the room as quickly as possible, for I knew Legolas would try to speak to me the moment he got me alone. So I went out into the gardens, and swiftly disappeared into the trees before he would have to chance to see which direction I went in. once I was far into a patch of trees, I stopped, and leaned against a large oak tree, sighing. Alone at last. In peace to be with my thoughts.  
I knew I must leave Rivendell soon. Although I had friends here, such as Arwen and Lord Elrond, I could not stay much longer whilst Legolas were here. Or maybe he would leave for Mirkwood, knowing that I would have nothing to do with him.  
"We need to talk."  
My thoughts were interrupted by a beautiful voice that I had longed to hear for so long, yet did not wish to hear at all. I looked up, to see Legolas standing before me.  
"I know you left so soon after breakfast to get away from me," he said, hurt evident in his eyes. "But I must speak with you."  
"You wish to try and put your own mind at rest, wash away the guilt you have from what you did - how you betrayed me?" I said, glaring at him. He looked taken aback.  
"I feel guilt, that is true, but my intentions were not to cause you grief," he replied. "I come to you looking not for a peaceful mind, for I know of my mistakes; instead I look for your forgiveness, for your love," he said, his voice soft like the whispers of the trees.  
"So you admit you made a mistake then," I said. "You come here and admit to me that you made an error, yet you inform me you were not trying to hurt me? You ask for my forgiveness?"   
He looked to the ground "That is what I wish for."  
"Legolas, the leaves will fall a thousand times before I even consider forgiving you. In fact, I do not believe I could ever forgive you. I do not wish to see you again. In your tryst with Boromir, you lost both my trust, and my love. I do not love you anymore Legolas," I said severely, hating myself for the harsh and untrue words I was saying. But that's all I could feel at the moment. Hate. And anger.  
Legolas looked mortified. His eyes were widened and his mouth hung open in shock as he backed away from me.   
"As you wish it," he said, his eyes glistening with tears. "I cannot switch off my love for you, but please let me tell you what I wished to tell you: When I was receiving pleasure, I believed it was you...now I shall leave you alone, as you wish."  
And with that he sprinted away, disappearing amongst the trees.  
I sighed, feeling bad about my harsh words to him. I did still care about him, yet how I could when he had done so a cruel thing to me as lay with another man? What I would give to have uncomplicated feelings. But then I would not be human.  
Legolas seemed so upset. I had not seen him look like that is all the time I had known him, and we had been through many bad times before.  
But I could not offer my forgiveness so easily. If it had been a mere kiss shared between the two men, that would have been easily forgiven. Mistakes like that are easily made, especially with those like Boromir, so ready to seduce others. But Legolas's mistake was greater than that, much more serious. He told me 'I thought it was you,' which is all very well, but how do I know he is not just saying that in an attempt to win me back? I could not forgive him so easily, even if this were true. Even with time, I did not know that I could pardon him for his mistake. I became lost in my thoughts as I wondered through the gardens.  
It would take a lot for me to allow him my forgiveness.  
  
TBC 


	18. Chapter 18

DISCLAIMER: Not Mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Legolas's POV.  
  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 18  
  
All is lost. No longer can I hold close the fact that the ma I desire wants me, loves me. He has shunned me. I ran blindly from the trees after hearing his words, not seeing where I was going, which direction I was heading in. Not caring.   
Eventually I slowed my pace to a walk, although I could have carried on running for hours. I had come out in a secluded part of the gardens; it was empty of people. Tears still ran from my eyes, and I wiped at them with my hands. Not wanting to be anywhere but inside, in my rooms, I turned in the direction of the house, and slowly began to make my way there, the pain and grief I felt within my heart growing stronger with every footstep.  
  
I reached the house within minutes, and went inside with my head down, not wanting anyone to see that I had been crying. Not looking where I was going, I walked into someone.  
"Sorry," I mumbled, pushing past them to carry on along the hall. A hand grabbed my arm as I brushed past, and a soft voice called my name.  
"Legolas? What is wrong?" I turned and looked at Arwen, who was standing there with a most anxious look upon her face. One look at my expression, and she pulled me into a nearby room, closing the door behind us after she saw it was empty. Then she pulled me into her arms, and held me whilst I let out all my grief, my tears coursing down my cheeks and onto her hair, looking like morning dew on a spiders web.  
"He...he rejected me," I sobbed. "He told me he does not love me."  
"My heart grieves for you, dear Legolas," Arwen whispered, "I grieve for both you and Aragorn, for he does not realise it is not only you who he is hurting, but himself."  
Then she was silent as I continued to cry on her shoulder. How childish I felt, crying like a baby to its mother.   
My heart felt heavy, and Aragorn's words swan around and around in my head.  
"I do not love you anymore Legolas...I do not love you...do not love you..." To my mind, it was as if he was saying them right now, over and over again.  
How could he turn me away? How could he not hear my words, how could he not believe me?  
Never had I felt so terrible before. Not when Boromir stabbed him, not even when he refused to see him. His words had shocked me, and hit my heart and my mind like a ton of rocks. If Elbereth could hear me, this would not have happened. My only belief is that after life, there was nothing. I had nothing now. I had lost my faith in my beliefs. I had lost my faith in life. It is one thing to want something you never had, but it is a completely different thing to desperately want and need something you once had, that you know you will never have again. In losing Aragorn's love, I had lost my will to live.  
"He does not love me," I whispered to myself. And gasped as suddenly I felt immense pain in my chest.  
Arwen pulled back from me, her eyes scared. "Legolas?"   
I could not say anything; it was all I could do to breathe properly. It felt as if I had something tied tight around my chest, preventing me from filling my lungs with air.  
My heart raced, thundering in my chest and hammering against my ribcage. It hurt so much! My vision kept blurring, and everything was a daze as Arwen shifted me so I had an arm over her shoulders, helping me out of the room and up the stairs to my chambers. It know not whether it took seconds, minutes, or hours; time was nothing to me; it could have taken a lifetime for all I knew. Hurriedly she sat me on the bed, pushing me so I lay back and lifting my legs and pulling me around until I lay flat on my back on the bed.   
"Legolas, stay with me," she said, crouching down and grasping my hand, squeezing it tightly.  
"Hold on," she said desperately. "I told you never to give up hope, and you haven't yet. Don't let me down now."  
She watched me for a few moments - seconds or minutes? I knew not - before she spoke again.  
"Do not leave, please Legolas," she exclaimed, distraught. "My brother, do not give up hope." She stood, letting my hand slip from hers. "I am going to find Aragorn. Please do not give up hope yet. Do not lose faith."  
With that she darted from the room. But I felt I had already lost faith. Concentrating on my breathing, I tried to hold onto reality as she had begged me to. I did not want to hurt her, my sister not by name or blood, but in my heart. But my heart was heavy. My heart hurt. My heart did not want to feel any more pain. And with that I felt a sleep-like state wash over me, and knew no more.  
  
  
TBC...yes, to be continued! I am not through with these honeys yet ;) 


	19. Chapter 19

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Aragorn's POV  
  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 19  
  
Soon after Legolas's hasty exit, I returned to the house, deep in thought.  
Had I done the right thing? At the time, I thought it was for the best, but now I was unsure. Legolas seemed so upset, so...grief stricken. Even if I did forgive him now, would he be able to forgive me?   
What had I done? I shook my head condemning myself for my actions. I had driven him away from me. My one true love, lost because of my own anger and resentment about something that was not his fault. I felt sure now that he was telling the truth when he said he thought it was I.   
I should be happier because of that, but I cannot be, not now. I have widened the breach in our relationship even further, irreparably, and as a result of my anger, our relationship was over.   
I must find him, I told myself. Find him, and apologise for my actions. Apologise for turning him away. Give him my forgiveness, and tell him I still love him. I turned, to go back outside, for I felt sure that was where he would be.   
"Aragorn, a word please," Elrond stood further along the hallway, outside the door to his study. Reluctantly I followed him in, sitting down as he closed the door.   
I waited whilst he positioned himself behind his desk. He steepled his fingers, and looked at me hard.  
"What is it you wish to talk with me about, Lord Elrond?" I enquired, as he had not yet spoken.   
"Your relationship with Legolas," he said simply.   
"What?" I replied, unable to keep myself from sounding so incredulous.  
"I know you two have had a disagreement," he continued, practically ignoring my outburst. "I do not know what has caused you to fall out, and I am not sure that I wish to know."  
I dropped my head down, staring at my hands, wanting to avoid his penetrating gaze. I hoped that he would not see through the façade Legolas and I had played so well.  
"I believe your disagreement with the young elf has something to do with your...dispute...with Boromir," he went on. "I have tried to find out from each of you what exactly went on in that room, but none of you have told me. In Legolas's own chambers of all places! It certainly makes an elf lord wonder what goes on behind the doors of his own home."  
He leaned forward, and I found myself looking up and meeting his gaze.  
"I am giving you the chance now to tell me what is going on, to tell me what happened in that room. What caused you and Boromir to fight," his words were an order, rather than a request. Lord Elrond had a knack of making things sound like one when they were really another.  
I sighed and looked away again, searching for the right words to say, words that would be truthful but not reveal anything about Legolas and I, or what had gone on between him and Boromir beforehand.  
"Boromir said things," I began, speaking purposefully slowly. "He spoke coarsely and rudely, words against Legolas, and words that insulted me. I am sorry to admit that I was the one who started the fight. Boromir spoke one offensive word too many, and I punched him. You know the result of that fight yourself," I finished, and looked to Elrond, hoping he would be content with my explanation.  
He sat back, studying me with great attention and thought.   
"That is most unlike you, Aragorn,"  
"I know my lord, I am sorry for bringing such conflict to your household," I apologised, knowing that I was in the wrong.  
"You are humble, when you know you are in the wrong," he commented. "But you have not explained what you were all doing in Legolas's chambers in the first place. Or what has caused you to avoid him."   
I felt a little surprised at his last comment, and he saw that in my face, for he continued.  
"Do not be surprised at my observations, Aragorn," he said, "I may be thousands of years older than you, but I am not stupid. You said to me yourself that you did not wish to see him, and your speedy disappearance after breakfast only confirmed my belief that you were trying to avoid him."  
I pursed my lips, not wanting to make comment on this matter.  
"Why *are* you avoiding him?"  
Still I did not speak, for I could not find the words - or excuses - without telling him the full truth of what had been going on. Instead I creased my brow, intent on not meeting his steady gaze, for if I did he would surely guess what had been going on.  
"I can see you do not want to talk about this matter Aragorn, but may I remind you that I am head of this household, and lord of the people here in Rivendell. If there is disruption, I wish to know why. Why were you all in Legolas's rooms? And Why are you avoiding him?" he pressed. "I do not like treating you in this way as you are usually a respectable man, and I consider you a good acquaintance, but I will not allow you to leave this room until you have answered my questions."  
I sighed inwardly. It was over. The secret Legolas and I have been hiding so well was going to be revealed. And I worried about the reaction the whole truth would get from the elf lord in front of me.  
As I opened my mouth, ready to speak the truth, I heard someone calling my name, and the door of Lord Elrond's study flew open to reveal Arwen, red-faced and dishevelled looking, her hair coming loose from the clip which held it off her face and lines of dampness running down her face from her eyes. Tears?  
"Aragorn!" she exclaimed desperately, her breathing laboured from running and her eyes red. I jumped up as I saw her, shocked at the words that followed her initial interruption.  
"Legolas...in his room...come quickly, *hurry!*"  
  
  
TBC... 


	20. Chapter 20

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.  
  
NOTES: Aragorns POV. Last part in this fic.  
  
  
A Secret Shared - Chapter 20  
  
  
One look at Arwen's distraught face told me of something terrible. I felt a sick feeling in my stomach as wordlessly I darted past her, leaving an astonished Lord Elrond standing in his study, looking after me, Arwen running close behind.  
I sprinted up the stairs to the room in which Legolas lay. His eyes stared glassily upwards, unseeing. My heart stopped momentarily as I realised they had not the same unseeing glassiness elves had in their eyes as they slept. His eyes were blank, void of anything. Dead.  
At that moment, Arwen came in behind me.  
"What is wrong with him?" I asked her  
"He is dying of a broken heart," she stated. Legolas? Dying? Broken heart? My thoughts raced, and I realised this was because of me.  
Stepping hurriedly to Legolas's bedside, she looked at his face, and turned to me.   
"He is still with us," she said.  
"How can you tell?" I asked, surprised that one that looked so far from life was actually alive.  
She motioned for me to step forward, and pointed into his eyes.   
"They still hold a glimmer of life in them," she said softly. "A glimmer of hope,"  
"Hope?" I asked, not quite understanding what she meant. I stared into his beautiful eyes, wishing they could see me, and did see the glimmer of life that Arwen spoke of.  
"Hope," she repeated. "Hope for you and I that he still lives, and hope for himself...hope that his loved one would forgive him, and return to him. That his true love would love him again." She looked at me pointedly.  
I sighed, reaching down at placing a hand on his cool, smooth cheek.   
"I never stopped loving him."  
"But he does not know that. He does love you, Aragorn. Truly loves you. His heart has been breaking ever since that terrible night, losing your love and friendship was the final blow."   
"And now I shall never have the chance to tell him I love him still," I murmured, still looking into his unseeing eyes.  
"You do still have that chance," she spoke softly, "Just tell him now."  
"But he cannot hear me in this state...can he?"  
"Of course he can, Aragorn. Just speak to him as you would. Speak from your heart."  
"Um...can you leave us for a moment?" I asked. She smiled and squeezed my arm lightly, then silently left the room, the door making a quiet thud as she closed it behind her.  
I crouched down beside Legolas's bed, taking his limp hand in mine, holding it to my heart and stroking his soft, lustrous hair. The expression on his face was a look of anguish; that alone sent a thousand daggers to my heart. I remembered how not long ago, I had sat beside Legolas's bed, after he had been attacked by Orcs. How I sat there, day in, day out, only leaving him to relieve myself. How I refused to allow him to sit at my bedside after Boromir stabbed me, when that was all he asked to do. Suddenly the huge mistake I had made hit me, and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I realised I should speak, before my one faint hope of doing so was gone. Before I spoke, I gathered my thoughts, trying to find the right things to say. "Speak from your heart," I remembered Arwen saying. And as I began to talk, I found the words came easily, flowing from the place I'd kept them locked away for such time.  
"Legolas, mell, it is I, Aragorn. I hope that you can hear me," I began, praying to Elbereth that he could.  
"These past few days have been tough on us both. We have both made mistakes, for which I am sorry. I shouldn't have shunned you the way I did; it was not you in the wrong, it was I."  
I paused, and lay my head on the bed close to his.   
"I love you, Legolas Greenleaf," I whispered, then speaking in his native language,  
"Legolas, Er anwa mellamin,"[1]  
Then I closed my eyes and wept easily, knowing that the chances were he had left me, and had not heard my words. There I stayed, weeping, until Arwen re-entered behind her father; allowing the elf maiden to usher me from the room as Elrond closed the door behind us, a solemn expression upon his face.   
At that point I was unsure if I would ever see Legolas alive again.   
  
  
  
TBC...In the sequel, "A Secret Revealed."  
  
[1] Legolas, Er anwa mellamin: (rough) translation: Legolas, My one true love. 


End file.
